The Complete Car Care Experts

Yeah and Rosie O’Donnell is hot?! …Seriously these people can suck my left nut.

Car care? Customer service? You’re shitting me right?

The Problem

Anyway to start making a little sense before I lose you …A few months ago my ride started shifting hard and slipping in low gear. Shortly there after it started making this nasty ass rattling noise. At the time I knew something was wrong with the tranny but I had no idea just how bad it was.

I didn’t even relate the rattle to the tranny as it sounded exactly like a loose heat shield. After hanging out under the beast for a few minutes I realized none of the heat shields were loose ….Rut Ro! Realizing something was wrong I took it to my usual mechanic. He throws it on a lift and informs me it is indeed the transmission and it’s on its last legs.

With that in mind I decided to take it to someone who specializes in such things in order to remove any of the traditional issues that are associated with a rebuild or replacement of a transmission. After searching for a reasonable garage I figured why not AAMCO. They are national and reputable so they can’t be that bad can they? …………………

The Solution?…

So I drop off the Explorer and I’m called later that same day (Good Sign) James (Good guy) informs me the tranny is about to take a healthy shit and I need to rebuild it or replace it. He of course recommends the rebuild as putting a used tranny into your car is almost always a doomed and dumbass idea. Having gone through this situation before I agreed with his assessment and authorized the rebuild. I was quoted at $1752.87. It seems insane but that’s fairly reasonable for a rebuild on an Explorer.

I had dropped the car off on Monday and after the consult over the phone I was told it would be ready for me by Friday. (Sweet these guys rock ……) Friday comes and yet my phone isn’t ringing. It gets later and later and still no call so I decided to call them and I’m like “Yo James what’s up? What’s the deal man you said I’d have my truck back today?” He informs me there were problems with other vehicles they were servicing and it delayed my rebuild. He promised to have it ready for me tomorrow (Saturday)

The Frustration

After thinking about being an ass for a split second I calmly agree and await his call the next day. (Saturday hours … 8AM - 1PM) I get up on Saturday and it’s like noon already. I check my Caller ID and no AAMCO so now I’m started to get irritated. I call them around 12:30 and I’m told that once again there would be a delay and that it would be ready Monday. Resisting all my natural instincts to go into a Tourette Syndrome style rage I merely say OK and hang up.

Sunday ….No ride ….Yet another day trapped with only my feet to get me around (Yeah that’s effective) Monday rolls around and once again it starts to get late. Even though they are open to 6PM I decide to give them a call around 3PM. James isn’t present at the time of my call and I’m being told that there could be yet another delay. I snap and tell this douche bag to have James call me. About a half hour later James does indeed call me and proceeds to tell me it’s ready. At this point I’m thinking WTF??

So I go pick up my ride and when I arrive expecting to pay around $1750.00 I’m billed for close to $2400.00 (DOH!!!!!!) OK at this point I go off. As in authorities are about to be called go off. I start spouting the your service is worse then a two dollar whore rant for what must of been 10 minutes. After being pulled out of the office by the woman I pay the bill and leave cursing along the entire way.

My anger is quickly subdued by the magnificent reality that my ride is actually shifting like it should. (Smooth & Clean) I realize better gas mileage is ahead which is a good thing when you drive a gas hog that takes $60-$70 a fill and you’re doing this twice a week. Acceleration is improved amongst other things so I figure fuck it at least it’s fixed.

The Rage

Five days later after a long drive (Ty …Punk ass!) I get home and I notice what smells like oil burn off. It’s 3AM and I’m half bombed so I figure it can wait until tomorrow. Of course it slipped my mind the following day but again I notice this nasty ass stench that smells like a burn off of some kind. So I get down and look underneath and what do I find?

My Transmission is spitting fluid all over the fucking place. The smell I am noticing is the transmission fluid hitting and then cooking off on the exhaust and catalytic converter. It looked like someone smeared the entire under carriage with a glazed jelly donut.

At this point I’m glad the AAMCO is 45 minutes away or I seriously might have killed someone. You spend $2400.00 on something; you expect it to be fixed ON TIME and PROPERLY. Jackasses. Before I did anything else I decided I should check the fluid level since I obviously had a leak and I find that not only is my fluid level fine but I’m over filled by at least 3-4 quarts (I shit you not) Unfuckingbelievable!! I call I bitch and I’m told to bring it back. (No shit) So I take it back they drop the pan they drain it, recheck it, reseal it and send me on my way.

Conclusion

In the end (Hopefully) I’m pleased with the newly found performance with my ride but the experience with AAMCO was horrid and I’d sooner slash my wrists with a plastic butter knife before going back to another AAMCO for a rebuild. I feel sorry for James as he is a good guy and tried to go out of his way to make me happy but his mechanics are about as reliable as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Like I said AAMCO can blow me ……….

I’m not sure about most people but I myself have a major issue with morons. Stupidity in general is one of my biggest pet peeves by far. I simply will never understand where the hell all of these people come from and yet they seem to be everywhere.

I still believe that people should be required to take and pass some sort of test before they are allowed to breed. The gene pool is diluted enough without letting stupid ass people like this out into the world to spread their seed and destroy it even farther.

So anyway I’m on my way home from picking up my ride when I decide to stop at Wal-Mart and have my oil changed. Not only am I already in a horrid mood having just dropped $2000.00 to have my transmission rebuilt but now as I go to pull into the parking lot I’m stopped by this idiot.

Apparently reading wasn’t a requirement when getting his CDL. You would think the sign that says NO TRUCKS would be a dead giveaway that what he was about to attempt was unlikely to succeed. It would also be reasonable to think that simply by looking at the small entrance and the nature of the road (How it bends) would also say “Hey I don’t think I’ll fit”.

While driving up to the turn one would assume the combination of these factors would set off a warning signal in his head but apparently he left his brain in his other pants. I watched as he tried to make the turn and even when it became overly obvious he was about to get stuck he just kept on trucking along and that was that.

His rear wheels are now stuck between two rather large rocks that line the entranceway. The leaning of the trailer now causes the freight inside to shift and all the weight is thrown to the left side of the cab. This in turn raises the passenger side wheels of the cab off the ground and he is now officially fucked. No traction, no hope, and obviously no brains.

If he tries to go forward he will undoubtedly roll it and he no longer has the traction to throw her in reverse. Shortly after a wrecker showed up to pull his stupid ass out. I didn’t stick around to see the end result but considering the mood I was in I probably would of been on the roof of my Explorer cheering for the damn thing to roll.

Stupidity …………………. ARGH!!!

The Pics

Click the thumbs for full size images. (Popup blockers are bad mmkay)

Happy Birthday to one of my retarded friends Tiff.

Her man Josh wanted to throw a surprise party for her on Saturday night but like the walking penis he is it didn’t quite go to plan. We were to assemble at his place at 9:00 to get ready for their arrival but when we got there at 9:04 guess who was already sitting in the driveway? (Shakes his head)

BEER …

I was in usual form after a few hours as evidence by the pictures below. Steve and I decided to demonstrate Drunken Couch Kickboxing and then just to spite Josh (Even though we love the guy) who is a major homophobe we demonstrated Drunken Couch Man Sex …LOL.

During a game of Asshole Josh was El Presidente and I believe his exact words were “Drink for insinuating gayness”. Good times with a great bunch of dumb asses.

OK …This is some seriously cold shit. This poor guy who happens to be mentally challenged is walking down the street when out of nowhere, this moron jumps out and whacks his ass in the back of the head with a baseball bat. Later the man dies from his injuries.

I mean WTF is this all about? What could possess any man to simply stand around waiting for someone, anyone to walk by so you can crack their skull for what appears to be no reason whatsoever. Now I could see if it was retaliation for something. Like if the guy raped your woman or killed your moms or something but damn.

Word is they had no previous contact with one another. They had never met and aren’t connected to each other in anyway shape or form. In other words he did it for the hell of it. This dude is definitely going to fry for this shit.

I catch hell from time to time for carrying my H&K P2000 (40 S&W) when I go out. Why do you need that? Why would you want that? Even the woman used to give me shit until it became common place. Well if this video isn’t enough to explain to people why I and many other people obtain weapons permits and then choose to carry nothing ever will.

As long as people like this walk the streets of every city in the world I will continue to carry a firearm.

I think I’d have to call this one … “Hell hath no fury like a man who’s woman you just fucked” I mean damn there is no other possible explanation I can think of as to why anyone would do this to a car.

I’m sitting at home and I’m told I have to go see this car over on 12th Street, so I grab the cam and head over there while I was on my way to Walmart. Low and behold as I approached this thing I almost pissed myself because I was laughing so hard.

I pull over and hop out the middle of the street and start taking pics. Suddenly I realized I’m in the get mugged neighborhood and the dude who owns this bitch probably would try to stab my ass for laughing so hard while taking pictures of his ride. (Rubbing salt in the open wound)

So I looked around and thought for a second then I realized “Wait a minute I’m armed WTF am I worried about” …HA! Simply put this poor car got tore the fuck up. Someone had some massive balls and a serious bug up their ass when they marched up and went to town on this machine. Can you imagine having to drive this thing to the garage or to work the next day …LMFAO …Too funny.

The Pics

Click the thumbs for full size images. (Popup blockers are bad mmkay)

That’s just some funny shit. I still laugh just thinking about it.